By Pastor Aaron Perdue

Today, we’re going to look at the topic, “Honor Your Parents: The Forgotten Commandment with a Promise.” Often, when Christian parents discipline their children, they remind them that the Bible says children are to obey and honor their parents.

One thing that sometimes gets overlooked is that this command from God comes with a promise. Ephesians 6:3 tells us the promise attached to honoring your parents is “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”

That’s a powerful reason to look more closely at what God says about honor and why it matters throughout our lives.

What Does the Bible Teach About Family Relationships?

The Bible teaches us about the relationship between parents and children. Fathers are not to provoke their children to wrath, according to Ephesians 6:4. In Proverbs 6:20, we read: “My son, keep your father’s command, and do not forsake the law of your mother.”

God’s Word emphasizes that the family is a place of love and respect, where children are guided in the way they should live.

The responsibility doesn’t fall on only one side. Parents have a responsibility before God in how they raise and guide their children, and children are instructed to listen to, obey, and honor their parents.

What Does Exodus 20:12 Mean in Context?

The Bible says in Exodus 20:12, “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.”

The context of this verse was that God gave Moses the Ten Commandments so that the Israelites would see the level of perfection God required and how impossible it was to keep the commandments. These commandments revealed people’s need for a Savior.

In the middle of the Ten Commandments is the only one with a positive reward of long life.

People today fixate on their diet, exercise, and mental health as the pathway to a long, healthy life. But really, the foolproof key of honoring parents should start when children are young and continue throughout their lives.

God emphasized this point again in Deuteronomy 5:16:

“Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may be well with you in the land which the Lord your God is giving you.”

What Does Ephesians 6:1–3 Teach About Honoring Parents?

Paul echoed Exodus 20:12 in Ephesians 6:1–3:

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 ‘Honor your father and mother,’ which is the first commandment with promise: 3 ‘that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.’”

This New Testament passage mentions that children must obey, but the command to honor extends throughout an adult child’s life.

That distinction is important. Children are instructed to obey their parents, while honor isn’t something we simply outgrow when we become adults. We can continue choosing to honor our parents throughout our lives.

What Is the Promise Attached to Honoring Your Parents?

The promise is stated clearly in Ephesians 6:3: “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”

God’s key to success and to a long, quality-filled life is to honor your parents. Great blessings come from honoring your parents!

This promise appears both in the Old Testament and again in Paul’s teaching to the Ephesians. God clearly places tremendous value on the way we honor our fathers and mothers.

How Did Jesus Teach About Honoring Parents?

Jesus also taught about honoring parents in Matthew 15:4 by reaffirming, “For God commanded, saying, ‘Honor your father and your mother.’”

Jesus also set an example of honoring His Father. John 5:19 says, “Then Jesus answered and said to them, ‘Most assuredly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do; for whatever He does, the Son also does in like manner.’”

Jesus didn’t dismiss God’s command concerning honor. He affirmed it and demonstrated honor through His own relationship with His Father.

Why Do Children Struggle to Honor Their Parents?

Even though we have God’s Word and Jesus’ example, many of today’s young people disrespect their parents at home and in public.

I think children struggle to honor their parents because the messages they hear the most from peers, movies, and social media tell them they are smarter than their parents and that they are in control of their lives.

God didn’t take a survey to see if honoring your parents would be popular. Today’s young people need to hear God’s truth and apply it to their lives, even when it goes against culture. The Word of God should always be the standard we use.

What Does Honoring Parents Look Like in Modern Culture?

So, how do we actually honor our parents today?

Probably the most important thing is to be in communication with your parents. Cellphones make it easy to stay in touch, but honor goes beyond simply making a phone call.

Here are some practical ways to show it:

• Listen: When you talk with your parents, take the time to be a good listener.
• Show appreciation: Express gratitude for them and for what they do.
• Ask for wisdom: Invite their perspective on situations you’re facing.
• Offer help: Ask if there’s something they need that you can help with.
• Pray: Make praying for your parents a regular part of your life.

Honor isn’t automatic. It is a deliberate choice.

Make a choice to honor and continue to grow in your honor for your parents, and watch God’s promise positively affect your life!

Grow in Your Understanding of Biblical Honor

To learn more about the topic of honor, Honor: God’s Key to Success, a five-part teaching series by Pastors Lawson and Aaron Perdue, is available as a free download through the Charis Christian Center online shop.

While you’re there, check out the other Bible teachings, confession cards, and curriculum available for free.