Vision Part 8 with Pastors Aaron and Lawson Perdue! In this session we’ll talk about how positive and negative relationships affect you.
Vision Package includes a Digital Download or CD series and a book from Pastor Lawson Perdue that will help you see things the way God sees them.
Vision Part 8 Transcript
Friends, I’m so glad that you’re connected with us today. We’re talking about our church and ministry vision, to know Jesus, to experience grace, to build relationships, and to live with purpose. Today we’re gonna be talking about how positive and negative relationships affect you. So you want to be connected to the right people so you can accomplish what God wants you accomplish, and finish your course strong. Blessings. Welcome friends of the broadcast. It’s so good to have you here with us today. And we’ve been sharing all of this week on the vision for our ministry and the vision for our church. We’ve been talking about knowing Jesus, experiencing grace. Today we’re gonna be talking about building relationships. And God wants us to build good, positive relationships. You know your relationships will help you or hinder you Aaron. They’re really not mixed. They’re either generally positive or negative. And so you need to have good, positive, strong relationships. You know the Bible actually says this in Proverbs 18:24, a man to have friends must be friendly. And there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. Jesus is our best friend, but if you wanna have relationships you can, you’ve got to be friendly. Sometimes people come to church, they say, well nobody talked to me. Well they come in late, they leave early. They don’t try to talk to anybody. They just stay with their one or two people that they know or nobody. And God bless you, I love you. That’s all fine. But if you really want to have good, positive relationships, you’ve gotta work at it. You gotta be friendly.
That’s true. I like something you said before that there are three key decisions every person has to make in life. I dunno if it’s something that you got on your own or maybe something that Lester, what are those three keys?
Who are you gonna serve? What are you gonna do? And who are you gonna marry? And are you gonna serve Jesus, right? What are you gonna do? How are you? You know, and then who are you gonna marry? And he actually said the third one has a lot to do with the second one. So the person you marry might affect who you serve and what you do. So it’s very important.
Relationships, relationships really impact your life. And a lot of people think that life is just, they’re kind of like a lone wolf. They’re just a maverick all out on their own. And maybe even, even there’s some ministers that kind of have that, like I’m just, I’m the only one, that kind of Elijah mentality. I’m the only one who hasn’t bowed to bail. I’m the only one who can hear from God. I’m the only one who has the true message. And you’re not, you’re not the only one. And you’re not just called into isolation. God wants you to be a part.
God hasn’t called anyone to isolation. In fact I have a friend and he said that, and I said no, God has not called you to isolate. And I gave him a scripture. Proverbs chapter 18 verse one. It’ll actually be part of the message here on building relationships. But it says through desire a man having separated himself comes into contention with all wisdom. And it’s through his own personal desire when somebody wants their own way. Why don’t you read Proverbs 18:1 in the New King James. I actually like the New King James version of Proverbs 18:1 very, very well. So why don’t you read that New King James?
It says here in Proverbs 18, verse one, a man who isolates himself seeks his own desire. He rages against all wise judgment.
So someone who isolates themself, they’re seeking their own way. It’s because they want their own way. So when I had this friend, I consider them a friend, and they made this statement that, you know, God’s called us to isolation. I just said that’s not true. God hasn’t called anyone to isolation. We all need one another. That’s a very selfish way to think. It’s not a healthy way to think, and it does not help you grow personally. And I know personally that I need relationships, I need people. And I know also that if I isolate myself, there’s other people that need the gift things that I have, and so I am robbing them, right? Plus really robbing myself. And so I don’t want to do that.
We need real, genuine, authentic relationships too. You know, not these kind of legalistic type relationships where you have to pretend to be someone else to be accepted.
That’s kinda like a legalistic type of relationship. You know, like if you, if you don’t act how I want you to act, then I’m not gonna, I’m chopping you off. That’s very, that’s a ministry of condemnation type of aspect. Really, our relation to grace should impact our relationships and our ability to relate and minister to other people.
Right. You know, relationships will either help you or hinder you. You know the Bible actually says this in First Corinthians 15:33 and 34. It says, be not deceived. Evil communications corrupts good manners. Then it says in verse 34, awake to righteousness and do not sin. So if you hang around the right people, wrong people, it’s gonna affect you negatively. Evil communication corrupts good manners. But in the same way, if you hang around good people, the right people, he says awake to righteousness. If you hang around people who cause you to wake up to righteousness, it will lead you out of sin. He says awake to righteousness and do not sin. And so your relationships can help you move out of sin or move into sin. So positive or negative.
Isolation, it’s a very sad thing. You know, with the whole Covid 19 pandemic, a lot of people were pushed into isolation. A lot of people got comfortable with isolation, and a lot of people hadn’t quite come out of isolation mentally. You know, everything they, the way they relate to other people, you know, it’s through, through a device, through social media that they, they lack genuine, authentic life giving right relationships.
I like to say sometimes it’s unsocial social media, and I’m not against social media, but you know, just because you have 5,000 friends on Facebook doesn’t mean you have one good friend.
Well I think loneliness is really a thing that affects a lot of people. Even, you know, you could be single, you could be married, you could be around people, you could be, really loneliness, it really affects a lot of people.
It was an attack. This Covid, whole Covid 19 thing was an attack on people, attack on humanity. And you know when, you know the health department kind of got in contention with me, and I saw how they treated my good friend Andrew Wommack. And so I was somewhat upset with them, and I thought I’m not gonna let ’em do that. And I stood against them. But I told them, listen, there is more than people’s physical health. There’s emotional health, right? There’s their spiritual health. And we actually buried more people from suicide. We had more funerals for suicide during the pandemic than we did from Covid 19.
Yeah, I think suicide went up a lot. And you know, people from our church, it was often like their friends or family members of friends that needed a minister to help with a funeral, and you know, due to the laws at the time, you know, funeral homes wouldn’t even allow a service. So people just needed, needed, needed, needed ministry. They needed ministry. And so we stepped up and ministered to people, even people outside of our congregation who were dealing with very devastating circumstances.
Yes, we buried a a 21 year old young man. A 36 year old young man and a 51 year old man. And it was really a tragedy. And it was because they needed people, they needed relationships. And that just shows you that the need that we have, we need one another of the body of Christ. You know Romans 14 talks about this, and he says, no man is an island. In other words, somebody’s affected you and you’re affecting somebody.
Well there’s a practical side to relationships but there’s also a spiritual side to relationships too. Like even in your marriage, there’s practical things you can do to grow your marriage, but there’s also a spiritual aspect of marriage as well and that’s why God, God loves marriage so much. And that’s also why the enemy wants to attack marriages. Because there’s a spiritual side of it.
Some of the strongest agreement is that agreement between a husband and wife. I believe that’s one reason, again, the devil, like you’re saying, fights marriages. So don’t. Catch him at his tricks. Stop him in his place.
Yeah, and realize that it’s just not flesh and blood. Everything that’s happening, you know, some of the emotions you might be going through or some of the, the crazy thoughts you may be having, it might not be just flesh and blood. There’s an enemy out there and he wants to hurt people relationally.
Ephesians chapter six verse 12 says for we wrestle not against, against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against spirit, the rulers of the darkness of this world, and against spiritual wickedness in high places. Now I’ve read that verse in at least 20 translations. And in every translation, it basically says there’s a spiritual battle. So you gotta realize there’s not, everything is not flesh and blood. Everything is not just physical. There is the reality of a spiritual battle.
And there is an enemy, but you know.
He’s a defeated foe.
He is defeated, and his tactics aren’t new.
So if you can stop the deceptions, see Satan’s only real power over the believer is deception. So he’s a defeated foe. Jesus defeated him in his death and resurrection. So if you can stop his deception, you can stop his power as a believer. So you don’t have to give in to all this. You know, these three people that died, one of them was a former person that worked at Charis Bible College. And Andrew Wommack boy, he unloaded up there on the Bible school and he told them this is the most selfish thing that you can do. And just told him, you know suicide’s a very selfish thing. And I still have compassion on the families, you know, and on those people. God, only God really knows what they’re going through when they do that. But, you know, just don’t come to that point. Don’t let yourself get there. If you need some people, get around some people, get some help, God, just don’t go there. Just terrible.
And I like that we have, you know, we know great Christian counselors who wanna help people and you know, as individuals, but also as married couples and help people.
Listen, if you need help, ask for help.
I remember one time years ago, as we were pastoring here in Kit Carson, I was struggling emotionally. I talked to Mike Peterson, and Mike came and volunteered for me at first, and then worked for me for, you know, over 10 years. I think he worked for me for 12 years. He was my first employee and he was a retired counselor at the vet center. You know, he stepped on a landmine in Vietnam and lost his eyesight and lost his legs. He was my first employee for 10 years. I had a computer that read to him, but I talked to Mike. I said Mike, I’m struggling emotionally. My family’s good, the church is good, my business is good, but I’m struggling emotionally, what’s going on? And he told me Lester you haven’t been exercising like you usually do. It was a time in the winter, it was bitter cold, a lot of ice. I hadn’t been running. I said, you know what, I’m gonna run. I generally exercise seven days a week. And like today I ran, you know, for 30 minutes or 31 minutes. And then I went out and swam for 35 minutes. And you know, I burned that off and, you know it helps me emotionally, but if I need help, I need help. Do what it takes.
I have a good friend, you know, Charlie and Jill LeBlanc, and they’re music ministers, and one of Charlie’s friends was struggling with thoughts of suicide. And so this friend called a medical doctor that was his friend. And the medical doctor said, you go outside and you run for 30 minutes, and then you call me back immediately. And they went and ran 30 minutes. And he said, well how are you doing now, I’m fine now. That releases endorphins in your blood. Actually, Mike and Mary told me later the amount that I run’s like taking several Prozac a day. But it’s not gonna hurt you like drugs, but I just do it. I physically exercise because I know that I’m in a physical world and I have to deal emotionally with people and stress and different things. And so I physically exercise.
You have to take care of your body. You have to maintain your body. You have to maintain your, your soul. You know, God cares about your soul. He cares about, about your.
While we’re talking about this, you know, there’s not just spiritual things. Your what you eat, right? Your sleep can affect you. And your physical exercise along with reading the word and praying and being in relationships in the church. So we need all these things and we need ’em all balanced. And it will help us live a victorious life in Christ. So relationships, they’ll make you or break you. We’re gonna come back and talk more about how relationships help us or hinder us and how we can get good godly relationships in our life. So stay tuned. You don’t wanna miss the rest of this broadcast. Friends, I want to tell you about our product that we have available with this teaching. And we have a special offer. First of all, we have the Vision series and I have five messages that I taught on vision. You can get them on CD or digital download on our website. You can get them immediately. And then My Uncommon Favor book, this is my life story from just a few years back. It’s a lot of different stories. A lot of people tell me when they read My Uncommon Favor book it encouraged me because it gave me hope that if God did this for you, he would do it for me and he would help me. And there’s so many ways that God has blessed me and helped me, but it’s not unattainable. You see God is no respecter of persons. He is a respecter of faith. So when you get ahold of the word of God and begin to believe God, you can move into the vision and the plan that God has for your life through the favor and grace of God on your life. Thanks and blessings. Praise the Lord friends, I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad you’ve got grace, and the word of God is working in our life. We’ve been talking about building relationships and how important relationships are. You know one Aaron, one of my favorite scriptures is Proverbs 13, verse 20. And it says he that walks with wise men will be wise, but a companion of fools will be destroyed. And I wanna walk with wise people and the wiser people that you run with, the wiser you become. You know, they say the better ball players you play ball with, the better ball player you become. You learn something in music, the better flute players you surround yourself with the better flute player you become.
Yeah, relationships are huge. God works through relationships. You know several years ago I, actually when I was younger, first in college I was invited to be a part of a summer music program in Santa Barbara, California. So I went to Santa Barbara, I spent three summers in Santa Barbara at one, at a really great summer classical music festival. And this older couple sponsored me. They helped with my scholarship and I would spend time with them. You know, they had like a 15, $20 million, you know, estate they built overlooking the Pacific Ocean. And the husband, he was very high level in his career. He was in the oil and gas industry and, you know, multi multimillionaire and retired. And they’re also Christian. They’re a great, great Christian couple. Anyways, this is a few years ago, you know, the gentleman passed away and his wife asked me to help with the memorial service. So I flew out to Santa Barbara to help with the memorial, and I got to meet some of their lifelong friends. And a few of these couples were actually part of, of a church small group that they were at when they, it was like 50 years prior. They all lived in Houston and met in Houston, remained friends for decades after. And they would, you know, they’d travel and do things together. But this, this friend group, they said that there were 10 couples that hung out. They got together and had dinner, you know, once or twice a month. These 10 couples, but they said of the 10 couples, all of us have remained married. No one divorced. They’re all married for over 50 years.
Very successful. But yeah, God works through relationships. So even, even, yeah, it’s important for families to connect with each other as well. And married couples to connect with people as well. But they just said there’s a.
Something that happened.
Something that happened and they actually all got together and wrote down their top 20 tips for successful marriages. And they did it as a group.
Well let’s talk about successful marriage. What about successful business? I’ve been fairly successful in business and financially. And so I often have people come and ask me how can I be a success? Sometimes I don’t know anything about their business, but one thing I do understand is the principle of relationships. And Proverbs 13:20 says, he that walks with wise men shall be wise, but a companion of fools will be destroyed. So the wiser people you surround yourself with, the wiser you become. When I was in Kit Carson, I was starting in a new aspect of the cattle business. I’d had cows and calves before. I’d never owned very many feeder cattle prior to that. But I started in the feeder, growing in the feeder aspect. And in doing that, I had three friends, Irvin Mitchek, Jim Mitchek, and Aubrey Shodd. They were all people who basically started with nothing and they became millionaires or multimillionaires right, through their work with cattle and farming. And so I learned from Irvin, I learned from Jim, I learned from Aubrey, and I learned different things from each one of them, but I employed that in my own business and that worked. So if you’ll find three people and you’re trying to succeed in business that have succeeded in that business, they didn’t inherit it, but they succeeded in this business that they built on their own, so on and so forth. By the time they’re older, they want to share this knowledge with other people so that they can succeed. And if you take what they’ve learned and you apply it too, I believe that helps you succeed in life.
I think, I think a lot of people relationally, their goal is to be liked by everyone, and.
Sometimes people aren’t gonna like you.
Well, really relationally, divine relationships, usually you don’t need a whole lot of people. You just need a few really close friends. Like sometimes one really close friend, you know, two or three, God can work through that. You mentioned having three really good mentors, you didn’t have to have a hundred different people giving you business advice.
A lot of people relationally, they think man I just, I just need to be liked. I need to have, be invited to more parties. I need, you know, more people to think highly of me. But that’s divine relationships.
And sometimes God will move you out of a relationship and move you into another relationship. Sometimes that’s somewhat painful. But I’ve seen God really release me from some relationships, not that I wanted to be released ’cause I’m a long-term relationship person.
Yeah, you really seek to honor people.
And I try to keep long-term relationships. The Bible says your own friend and your father’s friend do not forsake. But I’ve had some people that have just walked away or done different things and separated themself and I can’t control that.
Well and sometimes trying to hold onto a previous type thing that isn’t there can hinder you from building.
Sometimes God wants you to move forward and bring you into new relationships because he wants to take you new places. Now in the ministry, I’ve had some tremendous relationships. Andrew Wommack has been a tremendous friend and mentor to me. Pastor Mark Hankins, tremendous friend, mentor to me early in my ministry. Pastor Kenneth Davis in Lamar, Colorado. I invested a lot in me and I still appreciate that. You know, I don’t discredit any positive thing that God has given me in my life.
And sometimes you need to realize too, some relationships are long term, but some, some are more short term and for a season.
And you know, I look at the story of Ruth in the Old Testament. You know, Naomi was married, she was from Bethlehem, had two sons, moved to Moab during a famine. And while she was in Moab, her husband passed away and her two sons passed away. So she was gonna move back to Israel. And so she spoke to her two daughters in-law, Ruth and Orpah, and said Orpah, you know wept and kissed her but then went away. But Ruth clung to her, right? And Ruth, Ruth, Ruth, you know, said your God will be my God, your people will be my people. Ruth actually put her her faith in the one true God of Israel. So she wanted to stick it out with Naomi and move back to Bethlehem.
And so that relationship was a blessing. The relationship with Orpah, like some people are gonna just kiss you and move on. It might be a temporary thing.
But you need to let go of the Orpahs in your life and honor the Ruths in your life. And Ruth, her name literally means friendly, one who’s a true friend.
And so look at those people who are true friends to you, who are in it for the long haul, and see that God is the one working there. And tho those people who are Orpah, just.
Let ’em go.
Yeah just let ’em go and move on.
Yeah, that’s good advice Aaron. You’re better at that maybe than me. So anyway, praise God, we wanna build relationships. They’ll help us or hinder us, right? In Romans 16, Paul in the first 16 verses talks about 30 individuals or groups of people who helped him in the ministry. Then in verse 17 through verse 20 he warns people, stay away from people that are causing strife and division, a part from, I’m just gonna read it. This is powerful and this is one of those talking about, you know, if the relationship’s not going the right way, if the people aren’t going the right way, you need to break off relationship. And he basically says this, I beseech you brethren, mark those who cause division and offense contrary to the dark doctrine that you’ve learned. And avoid them for such serve not our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly. And by their good words and fair speech deceive the hearts of the simple for your obedience come abroad to all men. I’m glad therefore on your behalf, but yet I would have you to be wise concerning that which is good and simple concerning the evil and the God of peace will bring Satan under your feet shortly, the grace of our Lord Jesus be with you all. If you want the devil to be under your feet, you need to have the right relationships and you need to be connected to the right people, but you also need to stay away from the wrong people.
Something that is important to realize too, concerning the anointing of God, like the power of God, the presence of God, the purpose and plans of God being manifested here on earth. The anointing of God, there is an anointing in you as a believer. There is an anointing on you that that relates to your specific gifts and callings. But there’s also a corporate anointing. There is an anointing on a group of people who are in unity. And when there’s a healthy connection, when there’s healthy relationships, when God has brought people together, you can do more together than you can on your own.
You know, part of basic Christianity is relationships. Acts 2:42 says that they continued in the apostles doctrine and in fellowship and in breaking of bread and in prayer. And I identify that they continued in the word and in church and in relationships and in prayer. When I first started out in the ministry, I said everybody needs to be in the word. Everybody needs church. Everybody needs to be in prayer. And I’ve been pastoring for 35 years. I pastored the first church for 13 years and then we’ve been at this one for 22 years. And I have seen in my church some people that just grow and prosper and do well, and other people that just sit there and aren’t growing. And basically I’ve identified it as people who are really growing and prospering and doing well, they not only have the word in church and prayer, they also have positive relationships. And so that’s the one key that I left out at the beginning, but I sure have it there now. And there needs to be a divine order of relationships. God first, then your spouse, then your children, then your work, right then so on and so forth. And when you get these things in order, it will really cause health in a lot of different areas. So thank God we talked a little bit about that. We’re gonna come back tomorrow and talk more about building relationships. And then the last one that we have is living with purpose. God has a purpose for your life. I actually believe that the relationships that you keep will affect you of fulfilling your purpose either positively or negatively. So you want to keep the right relationships.
Amen. And I believe, I like what you said earlier in the broadcast that if you want friends you need to show yourself friendly. So sometimes making a friend can be a simple thing. Maybe it’s just going outta your way to, to share something kind with people or maybe invite someone over for dinner, invite someone out to a restaurant after church. But there are some practical, simple things that you can do that, and you can believe that God will ordain the right relationships for you.
Yes, if you wanna have a friend, be a friend. So thanks so much for being tuned into the broadcast today. God bless you, we appreciate you. If you need prayer, be sure and give us a call. Blessings. Praise the Lord friends, I want to invite you to church this coming Sunday morning. Whether you’re in Colorado Springs or whether you’re wherever you are at, if you’re in Colorado Springs, you can see us Sunday morning at 8:30 or 10:30 AM live. But you can also watch us with our livestream congregation at 8:30 or 10:30 AM or you can go to our website and get it anytime at CharisChristianCenter.com.
[Narrator] Too many people live their lives without ever connecting to their God-given purpose. Learn the importance of having a vision and some practical steps for walking it out. God has a tremendous plan for your life. Start now and see it come to pass. Get the vision package, which includes the book Uncommon Favor and the Vision CD series for $24, or digital, download for $15 when you call 719-418-4000, or visit CharisChristianCenter.com. Thanks for watching Grace for Today. This broadcast has been made possible by our faithful partners. If you would like to become a partner, need prayer, or have a question, please call us at 719-418-4000, or to partner online, go to CharisChristianCenter.com/give. You can write us at PO Box 63733, Colorado Springs, Colorado, 80962. See you next time on Grace for Today.