We need to be raising our children to succeed in life, specifically being successful physically and financially.
Imparting Success to the Next Generation
In the Imparting Success to the Next Generation ASOTV Digital Download, Pastors Barbara and Lawson Perdue share how parents can prepare their children to succeed. This 10 part audio and video series provides practical and pertinent ways to help your family find and fulfill their God given destiny. In this series, Pastor Barbara shares on faith, family, and ministry and how they work together in everyday life.
Imparting Success to the Next Generation Transcript
Praise the Lord, friends, and welcome to the broadcast. I’m so glad that you tuned in. We’re gonna be talking about raising our children to succeed in life, specifically being successful physically and financially, and we’re gonna be talking specifically with my wife, Barbara, today, about teaching our children to be extraordinary, not just ordinary. Blessings. Friends, it’s so good to have you with us today, and I have Barbara, and we’re teaching from your brand new book, “Imparting Success to the Next Generation.” And you know what I like about this book, and I like about it really, this is your first book, I think it really defines who you are, I think you did such a great job with it. In this book you talk about things that we used to help our children succeed, and this isn’t something that’s just, you know, an idea that we got from somebody else. This is something that we’ve lived and it really works. It’s working in our lives, it’s working in our children’s lives, now we’re seeing it even go into our grandchildren’s life because our children are using these same principles in teaching them. And you know, yesterday we talked a little bit, we talked about three major areas, and last week we talked about the importance of loving God, loving the word, loving your family, but then yesterday we began talking about a practical trait. And we talked about, kind of, seeing the gifting in your children and developing in those things. But today, we’re gonna move into how our children need boundaries and discipline, and I wanna let you just go ahead and jump in the word.
That’s correct. So we did share from Proverbs 22:6, train up a child in the way he should go. And when he is old, he won’t depart from it. We need need to nurture those God-given anointings and talents in our children and keeping mind with their gift or bent. We brought out in Psalm 127:4, “Like arrows in the hand of a mighty warrior.” We want our children to hit their target. Another thing that I saw and do see in the Bible that we applied in our home and that I found very, very beneficial, and I call this, children need boundaries and discipline. And honey, this is really interesting to me. Even worldly, even the scientists have done a study on this. And they say children in the homes that have boundaries actually feel more loved, they feel more secure when there’s defined boundaries of what is right and wrong in your home, and that these are followed up on. And so the Bible just gives some very clear things here. And we wanna talk about this because there is a godly way and the right way to do this. So again, we’re really bringing out, your children need boundaries and discipline. They need to be consistent. It needs to be something that’s talked about with Father and Mother, but it just needs to be something consistent. And it’s really about boundaries are to keep our children healthy and safe. And again, they’ve done studies where they say, yes, children feel more loved.
And so this is in Proverbs 29:15 and it says, “The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child to himself brings shame to his mother.” And so again, the rod and rebuke give wisdom and we’re gonna talk about this. We never discipline or have boundaries because we’re angry, again, it’s about keeping our family safe and secure. And for some reason this one, in the particular translation, it says, you know, “A child left to himself brings shame to his mother,” and you know, different translations might say different things, but I thought it was always interesting, it never say anything about the father or the grandparent or the aunt or uncle, and I thought, “Wow, this is me, bring shame to the mother.” And I know when our children were little, that’s when we were really building our family was when we were pastoring in Kit Carson, Colorado, which is a very remote agricultural area. And I’m saying all this to say this, I would have to drive at least one hour one way just to get somewhere to get supplies for our home. And so I would take our toddlers or take my babies in the car, this is three active, healthy little boys that would ride in a car, in their car seats for an hour just to get somewhere. You can only imagine they would be ready to move around. And so, I really took this scripture to heart. So I kept things very organized. Sometimes you were there with me, sometimes I had other help, but the majority of the time my children were with me when I did these errands. And like I said, we had to travel to get to a store. So as soon as they got out, I would have them march. ‘Cause I knew their little bodies needed to move and I would have ’em march and march in place until I got everyone out, march into the store, I mean left, right, and I would tell them left, left, and I’d have ’em swing the arms. So they were moving those legs and moving those arms, but they were with me and I knew what they were doing. And not only that, just being aware of having three children being by myself, needing to do errands, and having traveled so far, I had also color coordinate them. Everyone would be wearing navy t-shirts, or everyone be wearing the same color, so it was evident to everybody that we were a family, that we were a group. And so we’d march in and a lot of times people would point and laugh, but I tell you it worked because I understand children need to move and I don’t need to go to the store and be screaming at them, be frustrated, but it would be a boundary and keeping discipline, but understanding they needed to move, and it only happened one time. I can’t remember what store we were at, but one child got in another aisle, but it was really cute, honey, it was really sweet, someone actually came and tapped me on the shoulder and they said, “Ma’am, I think that one over there belongs to you.” Because again, we were color coordinated, we all had matching shirts on. And so again, there’s nothing worse than going to a store and hearing someone scream at the top of their lungs. I feel also to give some little motherly and grandmother advice, don’t go shopping when it’s nap time. Don’t go shopping when it’s time to eat. I mean, that’s when you need to be home with your child. They need to be rested and fed. But even as adults, we both have found out, don’t go to the store when you’re hungry.
But these are just simple things you can do so it’s not so frustrating when you need to run your errands.
Yeah, it’s a big deal. And, you know, you’re talking about having ’em exercise, we had all the boys when they grew and they got older now, you know, I’m gonna comment where you said, “A child left to themself brings his mother to shame.” You know, we found out when our children were little, you know, when they were, you know, young up to eight, nine, 10 years old, they really, really needed mom. But when they began to get into those, you know, years past 10 years older, so, they really needed dad. Now they had mom and dad at both times, and some people don’t have that, you know-
Or they just don’t have that privilege. But at the same point in time, the children need their parents. But when they got older, they really needed dad. And if you don’t get your children and give ’em some boundaries and discipline them when they’re two, you’re gonna have a really hard time when they’re 13 or 14.
This is what we’ve learned, people told us this too, but there is a proper time and a proper word to discipline and it’s a lot easier to discipline them when they’re two because a lot of times, especially in our home, our children, when they all grew, they grew taller than me. And so if that discipline, those boundaries, that respect wasn’t already established, it’s really hard as they get older and become teenagers and even young adults, and I believe that’s what you’re referring to.
Yeah, and I’m gonna bring something else up. Don’t allow your children to play you. And they’ll start this really young, they’ll start this four or five years old. If daddy says no, they’ll run to mama and ask mama. And they try to play mom and daddy against each other. Mama says no, they run to daddy.
It’s not only when they’re four or five, it’s when they’re two years old. We’re seeing this in one of our youngest granddaughters, and and she does that. She’ll go to mama and if mama puts her foot down and says no, then she runs to daddy and he puts his foot down. So that’s a sign of a genius there.
Kind of interesting with our grandchildren, all of our daughter-in-laws are pretty strong, pretty firm. Our boys are all a little bit easier going with the kids. That’s just how, you know, kind of opposites attract and things so on and so forth. But, you know, those children need help. And mamas don’t lessen the value of this time with your children. It’s very, very important. I understand there are different circumstances, different situations with every family, and you need provision for your family, all these different aspects. Sometimes it’s different in a home, but I’m saying as a rule, don’t discount that. He goes on and says this in verse 17, Proverbs 29:17, “Correct your son and he will give you rest. He will bring delight to your soul.” I think when you get these boundaries established when they’re younger, when they’re older, it’s not as hard, and it’s easier to keep them going right when you get them going right. It’s kind of like a ball. It takes more effort, right? Say a bowling ball or something that’s heavy, to get that ball rolling, to get it going, but once you get it going in the right direction, it’s easier to keep it going.
And I wanna touch on something you were sharing that I think is very practical and very important. Bringing out the aspect that not all homes have a mother and fathers. We have a lot of people we know, family and friends, who sometimes there is a single parent home where you’re working and raising the children, and I just wanna bring out what I learned. And not that I’ve ever been a single parent, but I know when we were pastoring Kit Carson, you were traveling out once a month, and sometimes you would be gone anywhere from one week to three weeks, depending on if you went overseas. And with that, we also had a cattle business. So when you were gone out of town, I had our three sons, who were all in elementary school, they were young when you were traveling and we were living there, we had cattle, we had the church, and so I would, on Sundays when you were gone, have to get up, feed the cattle, fix breakfast for my children. There wasn’t a lot of restaurants in Kit Carson, so I’d have to also get lunch going in the Crockpot. There was things I had to do at the church, I would minister, our family would lead the worship while you were gone. And so I just wanna encourage you, you know, how do you do that when you’ve got so many responsibilities, you know, businesses and children and all these things? What I found is, again, organization and thinking ahead, planning ahead, I’d always plan it and still do like to plan anywhere from one week to a month ahead, you know, with what your groceries are, but especially I knew what really helped me, as far as being a young mom, whether I was home alone when you’re traveling, or when you were around, you wanna think ahead and the Crockpot was the mama and wife saver. There’s something about we all get up and, you know, start the day off with a bang. but it’s like everyone gets hungry and tired all at the same time in the evening, and if you can already think ahead, have a meal in that Crockpot, so it’s just already ready, or always keep things in the freezer and on the shelf that maybe are a bit longer of a, you know, a food that you can reach for that you didn’t have to, something that you can make a meal out of in 15 minutes, but again, plan ahead.
And here’s something, you even do it with our grandchildren. You’ll take bandaids with ya, you’ll take certain things that they need to eat, you’re like, you know what? They’ve been going this time, this event happens, that now we’re going to see one grandchild, but the younger one’s gonna be there and they’re gonna need some food. You’ll actually take things, and you not only take care, you know, I plan ahead about five minutes, you know, and I plan certain things ahead for a long time. But certain things I just kind of fly by the seat of my pants. We’re kind of polar opposites. You like to have things very planned, very scheduled. You’re just, you know, opposites attract. But this, you know, talking about boundaries and discipline, but you can save yourself a lot of grief by taking care of some of these things ahead of time.
And you brought out another thing that I just feel like we’re really sharing a lot of just practical wisdom here today. But again, you know, you grew up in the country, which really helped me a lot, and then having a family and pastoring in a very agriculture area, and then not only taking an hour to get anywhere for supplies, but taking an hour as our children did sports and things, and they teach you this as far as when you live so far out, you always wanna have water, food, a blanket, and something in your car that if you got stuck and stranded, you could make it for 24 hours. And so we just did this for the 13 years we pastored in Kit Carson. But this again, you just brought out, I just always have some basic things in my purse because not only for myself, but for you, for grandchildren, or other people I see, other moms I can see need a little help, but I always have just the band-aids, just simple little snacks, we always have water with us, and so these are just things to help you so you don’t have to hit the ceiling, as they say.
Well, we’re gonna take a short break, and after this break, we’re gonna be right back. We’re gonna continue to talk about some very practical things in developing your children from a young age so they can have a practical trade, not only love God, love their family, but a practical trade. And so they can be successful in life. God wants you to succeed, he wants your family to succeed, and he wants your children to succeed, not only in their relationship with him, but financially and physically. And I think this is very important, so you won’t want miss the rest of this broadcast. We’ll be back right after this break. Thank you so much. Stay tuned, bless you. Hey everyone, I’ve just finished reading the final script for my wife, Barbara’s book, on “Imparting Success to the Next Generation.” It’s a fantastic tried and proven thing that Barbara has proved in our lives on how we can teach our children to succeed. Andrew Wommack wrote the forward. You don’t wanna miss it, you’ll be blessed. Thanks so much. Learn to listen to the Holy Ghost and listen to the, I love what Barbara said when she came up today. Turn up the word and turn down the news. Start believing what the word says about you, and if you start believing it, you might start, and you better watch what you’re believing. You’d better watch what you’re saying. You might get it. Praise the Lord, friends, I’m so glad that you stayed connected with us. Barbara, I’m really excited about your next point in developing your children to have a practical trait, to be successful physically and financially, is teach children to be extraordinary. Dare to be different. You know, a lot of the world, they put pressure on children, especially when they get in their teenage years, to be just average. I know there’s a great book that was written by a man, he’s an ORU graduate, John Mason, I believe is his name, called “An Enemy Called Average.” We don’t wanna just be average. And there’s a lot of pressure, there’s a lot of social pressure on children, you know, when they get in those early teen years to be just average. Just to, you know, don’t be above average, don’t, you know, excel, you know, when you’re at sports, don’t excel, you know, maybe in school, in your grades especially, and you taught our kids from when they were five, “Hey, your dad’s a pastor, you need to get good grades so you can get a good education.” And they all got great scholarships. They were supernaturally blessed. They got to go to great schools. God provided for them supernaturally, and it’s a lot because things that you imparted into them.
Yeah, as you mentioned, I love this next point we’re gonna talk about, and this is what we taught our children, you know, dare to be extraordinary, not just ordinary, dare to be different. When you think about how much effort does it take to be normal or ordinary? About zero. And so this is something again, I saw in the Bible, and personally, I like to be different. I don’t like to look like everybody else. And you know, maybe I learned this firsthand, even as a child, you know, the Bible says it’s not wise to compare yourself to others. And so anyway, I love this. We see different examples in the Bible where the Bible, the scripture brings out how somebody had a different spirit or somebody had an excellent spirit. And a lot of times I believe it’s referring to people of faith and it takes faith. But again, I took these scriptures and really imparted ’em to our children and believe it for us, believe it for families that come to our church now, but we can be extraordinary. And it really gets the world’s attention because they’re like, what makes you tick? What is different about you? Why do you just shine? I actually had somebody, years ago, it’s when we first planted this church in Colorado Springs, I was raising, at this point now, we were raising all teenagers, which meant I would have to go to a grocery store quite often and somebody made this comment to me, one of the cashiers, they said, “Every time we see you, you are smiling.” Every time we see you-
Who knew anyone was even watching or looking? And so I find that interesting that when we choose to be different, people take notice.
I’m gonna read the scripture you have in Numbers 14:24. It really relates to that in a way. It says, “My servant Caleb, because he had another spirit in him.” Now spirit is not only talking about your spiritual condition, it also can talk about your attitude. And, “Has followed me fully and I will bring him into the land where unto he went and his seed shall possess it.” You know, God told Abraham that his seed would possess the gate of their enemies. I think that’s in Genesis, chapter 22. It’s one of the promises of the Abrahamic Covenant. But you know, because we have another spirit in us, we literally have the same spirit that raised up Jesus from the dead dwelling in us, as believers today. But not only do we have the spirit of Jesus in us, we have another, a different attitude. We approach life from a position of victory. We’re not starting from a position of lack or loss or sickness or anxiety or sin. We’re starting from a position of victory, of righteousness and health and provision and peace. And we have those things in our spirit. But if you renew your mind to the word of God, it not only changes your spirit, it changes the way that you approach life. It’s a mentality. You know, our children all have a good spirit, they have a good mentality. They think good, they got a good work ethic, right? And those things, right, have helped them to be successful in life.
That’s right. And I love it when you read in Numbers 13:30, it brings something else out and it’s, of course, you just need to read these chapters, Numbers 13 and 14 for yourself, but it’s when the spies were sent out to spy the land that God said in Numbers 13:1, “This is the land I’m giving you,” but sent out the spies. Victory was already predetermined and foretold. This is the land I’m giving you. But as they came-
What a word.
Yes, but as they came back, the majority, other than two of the spies, they were all negative and all said how they can’t do it, but Caleb said this again, this is Numbers 13:30, “Caleb quieted the people before Moses and said, ‘Let us go up at once and take possession, for we are well able to overcome.'” And what I have for this is faith declares the power of God in the face of the problem.
In other words, no one doesn’t have problems. It isn’t about you don’t have problems, but how do you handle things and how do we teach our children to handle things when it looks negative?
Yeah, you keep your eyes on Jesus, you keep your eyes. Now I love something you said. Victory was predetermined. And did you know that is not only the truth for the children of Israel, right? When they were coming into the Promised Land, coming out of Egypt. That is the truth for us, spiritually. The Bible says that we are predestinated to be, you know, the sons, the children of God. In Ephesians chapter one, verse three through seven, it talks about, you know, who we are and what we have in Christ. And I personally do not believe that anybody is predestined to damnation. I believe that every person, every born again person is predestined to victory. I believe every person is predestined to succeed. I don’t believe that God created anyone to fail. I believe that God created everyone to succeed. But part of having success and walking in success is seeing yourself, you know, how God sees you, and beginning to walk in that. So we can develop our kids’ attitudes, right? And a lot of times our attitudes affect our children’s attitudes. And our attitude is so important. You know, I think, you know, if you’re gonna succeed financially in a practical trade, you know you need a work ethic, right? You need the ability to manage, but you need to keep a good attitude. A good attitude is so important. And if you go in with a bad, some people have already lost before they get to the battle.
You know, you brought out something really good about attitude and this is all brought out again in Numbers 13 and 14. But if you look at Numbers 14:27, in verse 26, it’s talking how the Lord spoke to Moses and Aaron saying, “How long shall I bear with this evil congregation who complain against me?” My mother taught me one thing, she taught me it was evil just to complain all the time. And when it’s talking about, the Lord is saying, how long shall I bear with this evil congregation, he’s talking about, they have no faith, they have no faith in me, the Lord God Almighty. It’s they’re evil because they chose to complain rather than have faith like Joshua and Caleb , and declare the victory even in the face of the problem. So again, you brought out attitude really determines your altitude.
Right. And you know, in the book of Daniel, and this is something I taught our boys, but Daniel had an excellent spirit. And because of that, God promoted him. Daniel was promoted in three different world empires, under four different world leaders. And it was amazing how he was promoted under all, you know, Nebuchadnezzar, Belshazzar of the Babylonian Empire. He was promoted under Cyrus, the Persian, and under Darius the Mede. And so Daniel had an excellent attitude. So I teach four things from the Book of Daniel that I think really, that I’ve instilled into our children. I still teach these things today, especially I love to teach this to teenagers, no matter who you are and what you have in Christ, the power of the Holy Spirit, but I like to teach this, number one, live with purpose. You find this in Daniel. Number two, surround yourself with great people, with great friends. Number three, rely on the Holy Spirit, and number four, keep a good attitude. And I think those things will help you succeed, not only in the church, not only spiritually, but they will help you succeed physically and financially.
I wanna share a little bit more about this complaining, ’cause you know this, I talked about it.
My mother and you know, we’re talking about the children of Israel and how they were led out, and you know, we’re talking about Caleb and Joshua were the only ones who took God’s word for a fact, you know, to go and take the land and possess it, no matter what. But my mother said, when you complain, you don’t wanna end up like those people, your bones strewn out in the desert. So my mother would really bring this biblical teaching out in a point, like, don’t complain. It’s amazing what people complain about.
Yes. And you know what, you don’t wanna be a complainer. And boy, my dad wouldn’t let me sit around complaining when I was a kid. And you know, we had to look at what, you know, my dad said, “If you’re gonna whine, I’m gonna give you a reason to whine” And that may be a little bit old fashioned, but you know.
We’ve talked about that how both our fathers, we were never-
Yeah, we’re both that way.
We were never allowed to sleep in. We had to get up.
And if you cried, that’s what they would say, “If you don’t quit crying, I’m gonna give you something to cry about or complain about.” So praise God.
And we’ve been married almost 40 years, and have I ever slept past 8:00 since we’ve been married, 40 years?
You’ve never slept past 6:00. I can’t remember.
Well, I’ve slept past 6:00, but not-
I generally get up between 4:00 and 6:00. Sometimes I get up before that, in the morning. And I love to work, praise God. My daddy instilled that into me. Not that we have to do this, we get to do this and we get to go. We get to get up every day and go to work and serve people and love Jesus and love the word. And you know, it’s just wonderful that we get to do this. Friends, if you need prayer today, we want you to call. We have prayer ministers there. They’ll pray for you, they’ll pray for your family. Maybe you need a job today. You know what, God will give you favor. God will open doors for you. And maybe you need healing in your body, receive Jesus, receive the Holy Spirit. If you need prayer, just give us a call. And thank you so much to our partners for making this program available. Blessings.
It is important to keep God first, family second, and our ministry third. In a busy world, it is essential that we understand and act upon these priorities. Raising kids to love the word, value family, and live with purpose will bring them great success. Get your copy of Barbara’s new book, “Imparting Success to the Next Generation” for $15.99. Go to CharisChristianCenter.com and order yours today.
Friends, I certainly hope that you’ve enjoyed the program today and it’s ministering to you to move into that which God has for you. And I wanna say a great big thank you to all of our partners for helping us share this gospel across the United States and across the world. It’s because of our partners that we can take this message of grace and faith around the world. If you would like to join our partners and receive that blessing, give us a call today. Blessings.
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